Should a woman wait until the divorce is final to get a girlfriend?

by Bob on August 30, 2010

It seems like there are a lot of women getting divorces, and some of them are not waiting very long before bedding down with another woman.
Doesn’t one need some time to get over the whole mess of divorce first???
Or am I being too old fashioned?

{ 11 comments }

BabeHart August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Whether either party in a divorce moves quickly into their next "situation" is up to them…sometimes their marriage was over long before legal proceedings began…sometimes, it’s a rebound or a distraction to help with the feelings of pain/loss…

Both men and women in the process of divorce are known to start dating before it’s final…I did when I divorced (but that ended up being drug out for 2 yrs)…

KJ III August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

did you turn her into a lesbian?

Nehru August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Wait

redpoppy August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

I think so yes but then it’s down to the person and how strong they are at coping on their own. Many of us do the rebound thing cos we just don’t want to face life and the upset on our own but then we often get into a further mess. The ones who give it time are the ones more likely to not mess up the next time… Lick your wounds, learn from your mistakes and you will be a better person in the long run.

ablex August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Life moves faster than the courts.
Why wait?

word August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

They all end up bedding down with other women…?

I say they should wait until it’s final, just out of respect… but that’s just me.. Even when I just break up with a girl I’m dating, I won’t date someone else for a while out of respect toward the girl I broke up with… but then again, if she broke up with me, I would be trying to recover as fast as possible. So it depends on who filed for divorce.

Another reason not to date right away is just to give myself time to recover. There’s a reason things didn’t work out, and usually, it’s because I have my own issues that I need to resolve. I need to be single and assess my life’s situation and work on myself… So, I guess for that reason also, it’s best to at least wait until after it’s final.

And it is sort of unfair to the person you are divorcing. What if during the process, you two patch things up? After the time apart, you may realize how to make things work more easily than when you were together all the time and fighting. Well, that’s not going to happen if you’re dating someone else. You’re not going to worry about trying to work things out. So it’s unfair to your partner to not give them that chance..

morgan August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Its according how long the divorce took & how long they were split before the divrce was filed.

Billy Bob August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

When a serious relationship has ended, regardless of the circumstances, you are in a very emotional state. Your judgment in matters of the heart are severely impaired. People call it "on the rebound". I have experienced this myself and at the time, I didn’t believe it. But looking back now, I see it clearly. The best thing is to give yourself plenty of time to get your mind back into a normal state before considering having another serious relationship. Dating and casual sex is ok, but if you find yourself thinking the first person you meet afterward is "the one", then you’ll be making a huge mistake.

Annie August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Why wait – life is too short

ADerangedLittleGirl August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Hell no!
Life doesn’t wait! So, why should I?

PETER M August 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Your question said the word "should", and there is no should involved in making such a decision. The decision for a woman who is to be divorced to bed down with another woman is a choice made by the woman to do so and not a "should" edict to do so. The choice by the woman who is to be divorced to need some time to get over the divorce is also the choice of the woman who is to be divorced. A woman who is getting a divorce may have various reasons for getting the divorce and one of the reason may be the woman may not be attracted to men as much as she is attracted to women and has found by personal experience she wants to be with another woman rather than a man. This is a choice of how the woman who is to be divorced will make to change her life style and want to love a woman as she would a man were she attracted to a man more than she is attracted to a woman. In a case where a woman is attracted to a woman more than she is to a man there is no time period for the woman to enter into a relationship with and bed down with another woman. This is the life the woman who is to be divorced has chosen to live as she has learned more about herself and her sexuality and has become comfortable with her sexuality and has chosen to have a relationship with and bed down with a woman rather than have a relationship and bed down with a man. This is who the woman is and she has chosen a new life to lead and she has the choice to live her life and be happy with the way she lives her life because she has found her identity and is happy with herself and her choice as to how she will lead her life. Timing in relation to a pending divorce being final has no bearing to the woman’s choice as she, and only she, will make the choice she is comfortable with and she doesn’t need to care what others think because she is in charge of her life and she will decide how and when she will lead the life she wants to lead. This style of life is the new sexual revolution and society is coming closer to accepting those whose life style isn’t the life style in the traditional sense of one man and one woman, but rather the life style of choice for the individual.

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